The highlight of my Holiday was sitting in the lavish King Cole Bar of the St. Regis Hotel, drinking expensive Pinot Noir with my parents and brother. To our right was a family of six beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed children and their fairly-like blonde mother. The children were clearly the result of incest; a fact, which I was able to point out based on my experience seeing a movie about a blonde woman who secretly has sex with her blonde brother, who secretly has sex with blonde horses.
Then I ate a fistful of wasabi peas and made fun of someone playing a harp in the dining room.
My new years resolution this year was to be less judgmental of others. I figured it would be fairly easy. All I have to do is keep an open mind, drink more water, listen to public radio and never leave my room.
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